Triggers
by fester01
Summary: Annie has issues with Jeff's emotional ineptitude while she tries to take on too much, resulting in a relapse. Opens at last group meeting of Season 2, but primarily set during summer after Season 2. This is my first fic, all constructive feedback is welcome!
1. Chapter 1

**Triggers**

Annie has issues with Jeff's emotional ineptitude, among other things. Opens at last group meeting of Season 2, but primarily set during summer after Season 2. I do not own Community, but I wish I did.

 **Chapter One**

"Um, he was my ride," Troy said as the study group looked at each other after Pierce declined their invitation to join them in the fall. Annie declared "I'm going after him," and started to stand when Britta and Jeff convinced her that Pierce would "come slinking back in five…four…three…two…one…"

Annie waited a few extra beats, then got up and started briskly for the door - only to be brought to a sudden stop by Jeff's hand grabbing her arm. "Annie, I think it's pretty clear-cut that he doesn't want us to go after him. He's made his choice." The rest of the group started to speak up, murmuring their agreement, and Annie felt a slow burn work it's way onto her face as she yanked her arm out of his grasp to glare at all of them before settling on Jeff. _Her eyes are even more beautiful when they flash like that_ , he thought to himself. _Stop it. You can't think like that. You've got to ignore things like that. You're never going to convince her it's all in her mind if she catches you drooling over her._ "Actually, Jeff, I think it's you who doesn't want me to go after him. Admit it, this is what you wanted and you got it, as usual, because what you want is all that really matters to you."

Jeff stared at her, taken aback by her sudden display of anger. "Why are you surprised, Annie? We've talked about this. The guy is a racist, misogynist tool, and just because you're his fav -" Jeff's voice trailed off as he looked at Annie, seeing her fury grow until she was shaking and quivering. "He's one of us Jeff. You've offended everyone here at one time or another, and we didn't take a vote on you!"

 _She seems to get angrier more easily nowadays_ , he thought. _Especially with me. This didn't start with our vote to kick Pierce out of the study group. She has been more on edge and tightly wound for awhile now._

"Annie, calm down. Why do you always defend him? You're the only one who voted to keep him in, y'know." Jeff paused, and was relieved that Annie returned to her chair. _Although she did sit down with_ _ **authority**_ , Jeff thought to himself with a tiny grin. After a few moments of heavy silence, Shirley piped up with a high-pitched "So-oo, what's everyone doing this summer? I'll be going to Six Flags with Andre and the boys."

"I'll be protesting logging in Washington with some fellow activists I found on Facebook," Britta said, resulting in a groan from Shirley, an epic eye-roll from Jeff, _one of my best_ , he thought, and a glare from Britta.

"Troy and I are going to Hawaii to remake the last season of Lost."

"Yeah, and **we'll** get it right!" Troy announced, getting a solemn nod in agreement from Abed before doing their patented hand slap.

"I'll be consulting for my old law firm and working on my tan, not that it needs much work," Jeff said, looking around the room and seeing amusement from the others at his announcement before glancing at Annie, whose mouth was set in a straight line as she ignored him, focusing on some of the orange paint on her fingers. _Boy, she's really mad about this_ , Jeff thought. _Maybe a friendly conversation starter would help…_

"So, Annie, what are you gonna do this summer? Be the first person in history to pass an online course while simultaneously nailing shingles on a roof for Habitat for Humanity?" Jeff asked with a grin. Any hopes for an instant solution to Annie's anger died pretty quickly, as his comments hung in the air, unanswered, for several long seconds before Annie said "working" without even glancing at him. An awkward, uncomfortable silence descended over the table until Shirley spoke up.

"Well, I should get home. I have to get dinner ready for Andre and my boys. Stay in touch! See you next se-mes-ter!" Shirley cooed as she stood.

"We can't go yet. There's too much unresolved tension, and leaving things like this will have a profound negative effect on the group dynamic," Abed monotoned.

"Yeah, I don't want anyone hurting our dynamic. I don't have medical insurance," Troy wailed.

"Guys, relax. There's nothing wrong that three months away from Greendale won't fix. If I could bottle time away from Greendale and sell it, I'd be rich," Jeff said, trying to calm them down.

"Yeah," Britta chimed in. "Summer, here we come!"

As everyone filed out of Study Room F, Jeff noticed that Annie was lagging behind, glancing forlornly at Pierce's chair. Jeff pretended to be checking texts on his phone, waiting until the others were well down the hall, talking happily about their upcoming adventures before looking over at Annie. He was slowly realizing he had clearly gone too far, remembering her comment during the latest paintball debacle that the group was "her family," and that it wasn't just a figure of speech. Her real family, using the term loosely, stood by while she got hooked on Adderall, hadn't wanted her to go to rehab, then cut her off when she went on her own.

He smiled to himself. He really admired her toughness. It was one of the top things on a long list of what he liked about her, except for those times where she used it on him. Then, he admitted, it was downright nasty.

 _I should really head this off before it gets out of hand_ , Jeff thought.

"Look, if it helps, you were right. I shouldn't have been so adamant to kick Pierce out of the study group."

Annie's only response was to bite her bottom lip momentarily before standing and putting on her "determined" face and heading for the door.

"Annie -" Jeff began, only to stop in surprise again as she whirled on him.

"It doesn't help, Jeff. You do whatever you have to to get what you want, no matter how selfish it is. Then you try to talk enough to make it okay after the fact. But this," she gestured at Pierce's chair "is not okay. And neither are we."

 _What does that mean?_

"What does that mean?" Jeff asked softly, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.

"It means summer couldn't have come at a better time. I need some space to figure some things out."

"So, what, you're going away for the summer?"

"No. I'm going to be working, remember? Unlike you, I say what I mean. I just need you to leave me alone this summer."

"The entire summer? Are you serious?" Jeff asked incredulously.

"It shouldn't be a problem for you, Jeff. You ignored me our entire summer break last year easily enough." _Ouch. That one hurt._

"Come on Annie, don't be like this."

"At least for the first month. Then we'll see," she replied.

"What is this about, Annie? And don't tell me it's over the whole Pierce thing," he shot back.

Annie stared at him, disbelieving, before responding.

"No Jeff, it's not only about Pierce. That was just the last straw. You are too reckless with other people and their feelings, and I don't want to be around that."

"Wait a second," Jeff said. "This is about you and me, isn't it? I told you Annie, you were reading into some things. There is no you and me. Not the way you think there is."

As soon as he uttered the words, he wished he could take them back. He saw Annie flinch as if he'd slapped her. _And I may as well have. Way to prove her right, Big Mouth._

"Fine, Jeff. There's no 'you and me.' I'm totally imagining everything. That's good though, right? Children are supposed to have active imaginations, and that's clearly how you see me!"

Jeff started to respond, but Annie was just getting ramped up, and kept on going.

"Why do you do this?" she asked, her voice getting louder and shakier with every sentence she uttered. "You and I have these moments where there is clearly more than friendship involved, then you try to take it back by pretending they, and I, by implication, don't mean anything to you! I deserve better than that, Jeff, as your friend if nothing else!" The last few sentences were broken up by a few small sobs as Annie wiped her glistening cheeks.

 _It's not your imagination. I think about you all the time. About being more than friends, about holding you flush to me, kissing you while you sleep, softly inhaling the scent of your hair as I stroke it. But I can't. I have to be cruel to be kind - don't you see?_ Jeff wanted desperately to say all of these things and more, but he couldn't. He wasn't ready for that kind of relationship, no matter how much he wanted it.

Jeff snapped out of it in time to see Annie stalking past him and out of the study room. "Annie, please, just wait."

She took a few steps and stopped, Jeff felt the sinking sensation start to dissipate when Annie turned to face him and said "One month Jeff. I mean it."

"What if a month's not long enough?" Jeff asked, barely a whisper.

"Then I guess you'll have to find someone else to take notes for you and do your homework. That's evidently all I'm good for," she said as she turned and continued towards the parking lot. Jeff tried to will himself to chase her down, but, in spite of his endless crunches and careful diet, his body didn't respond. All he could do was look down the hallway in the direction she'd gone, flinching as he heard the exit door slam shut behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

The next several days were some of the longest Jeff could remember. He wanted to see her, call her, text her, tell her he was sorry. But he also wanted to respect her wish, so he tried to ignore the gaping hole in his life and focus on his work. He had never been so thankful for the study group. They were his only way of learning how she was doing. The first time he got updated about Annie was when he went to Shirley's for dinner, where he learned that Annie actually had two jobs, one as a waitress at Morty's Steakhouse on weekends, and the other as summer clerical help in the dean's office.

"Poor An-nie, having to work for the dean five days a week," Shirley said. "Why would she take that job?" Jeff asked. "She could get more money by working full-time at Morty's. Some pretty big tippers eat there."

"Oh, it's not just about the paycheck, Jeff-rey. She told me the money wasn't great at all. The dean is helping her apply for scholarships and grants, so it'll be better for her in the long run."

 _That sounds like my Annie_ , he thought. _Except that she's not_ _ **my**_ _Annie. She won't even talk to me right now._

If Shirley noticed how quiet he was for the rest of the evening, she didn't say anything about it.

A few nights later, he ran into Britta at the Ballroom.

"Aren't you supposed to be chained to a redwood somewhere right now?" he asked, grinning at her.

"I was, but it turned out I was in the wrong Washington. The others went to D.C. to protest," Britta replied as she blushed from embarrassment _. I am never letting her live this down_ , Jeff thought, grinning broadly before laughing.

"Shut up, Jeff. I'm leaving tomorrow to fly to Washington - the capital," she added quickly as he chuckled again. "What have you been doing over break? Profiting by protecting the corporations that rule the world, tanning yourself and drinking every night?"

"That sums it up neatly," he replied as their drinks arrived.

"So, have you seen anyone from the group since school ended?" Jeff asked as he lifted his Scotch to his mouth.

"Yeah, I went shopping with Shirley the other day. Actually, let me rephrase: Shirley went shopping while I was the designated kid-wrangler for the day."

Jeff smirked at that mental picture, then tried again. "Have you seen anyone else?"

"Just Annie." Jeff immediately gave her his full attention, setting his glass down hard enough that the bartender glared at him. "Oh, yeah? What's she been up to?"

"Too much, if you ask me," Britta said.

"I know, she's working two jobs this summer."

"It's not just that, she's also taking three night courses this summer! That's nuts."

Jeff's eyes got big. "How's she managing all of that?"

"It's Annie. She just does, right?" Britta swirled her Too-Cool-To-Care-tini, lost in thought. "You're right Jeff, that's a lot of pressure for anyone, even her." She looked up, frowning in concentration. "Now that I think about it, she did seem really jittery when I was talking to her. And she had bags under her eyes, but she said she's been going on coffee and a few hours of sleep at night. Honestly though, I really think she thrives when she has to juggle that many things."

"Yeah," Jeff idly replied. He held his empty glass in the air to let the waitress know hew was ready for another Scotch, wishing he was hearing all of this from Annie. He really missed her. Missed the talks, the laughing, the little capers they would pull off together. He'd even settle for simply being around her. Just her presence would be a comfort. And just like that, he realized he needed to see her. _But how can I without her making a scene?_ After a few minutes, an idea came to him. Jeff smiled to himself even as he told Britta there was no way he would watch her cats while she was gone.

After another long week at the office, Jeff quickly drove to his apartment, showered, cleaned up, styled his hair _just so_ and put on one of his many suits, pausing to inspect himself at length in front of the bathroom mirror. After another fifteen minutes fixing a few out-of-place strands of hair, he got into his Lexus and drove to Morty's Steakhouse, where he had made a reservation after leaving Britta at the bar a week earlier.

He requested a seat away from Annie's section. If she didn't want to talk to him, he wouldn't put her in that position. He just wanted to see her, even from a distance. He ordered his usual Scotch and was looking over the menu, even though he knew what he was going to order, when she walked out of the kitchen carrying a tray loaded with food to a corner table across the dining room. He kept the menu in front of his face so she wouldn't notice him, only his eyes and large forehead were visible while he watched her place the plates in front of her customers.

 _She looks so tired_ , he thought. A diner at another tabled dropped his fork and Annie jumped at the noise, looking around. As she turned, Jeff got a look at her eyes, seeing the dark circles under them and realized Britta hadn't been exaggerating. As he was thinking this, her eyes made contact with his. Her eyes narrowed, and he braced himself for an onslaught. But she surprised him, forming her hands into twin quivering fists, she turned and went back to work, taking drink orders from another table.

For the rest of his meal, Jeff watched her every chance he had, and what he saw worried him. She looked nervous, and on the few occasions she stood close to his table, he could see her tremor slightly. _She seems like she's about to jump out of her own skin._

Jeff paid for his meal, left a decent tip, and left just ten minutes before the restaurant closed, so he didn't have to wait very long before the waitresses began filing out and heading home. He saw her come out the door last, searching her purse for her keys as she walked to her car. She fished her keys out, looked up, and saw his Lexus parked next to her hatchback, Jeff leaning against his hood. She kept walking, and tried to brush past him to her door. He put his hand against the door, keeping it from opening. "Annie, we need to talk."

She immediately lost her temper, her face colored and she stepped right into his personal space, pointing a finger up at him.

"No we don't, Jeff. I told you what I wanted, now please let me go home. I have a paper to finish and two quizzes to study for."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. You look exhausted, Annie. You're working two jobs and taking three summer courses - it's too much for one person."

"I'm fine!" Annie yelled. "I can take care of myself." She was shaking now, tears flowing, clearly agitated.

"Annie, I just -"

"Jeff, just let it go," she said. He watched as she breathed deeply, trying to control herself. She put one hand to her forehead and massaged her temples after wiping her eyes.

"Annie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just a headache."

"I'm not just talking about the headache, Annie. You're obviously agitated and nervous, you can't be getting enough sleep and you look exhausted! Please, just let me help you."

"I don't need your help. There's nothing wrong with me!"

Jeff took a breath, calmed himself, and said "Annie, you need to take a break. You're not acting like yourself. Even Britta noticed, so it's pretty obvious."

"You talked to Britta about me! Did you hire private detectives, too?" she snapped.

"Of course not. I just wanted to know how you were doing."

She stood quietly for a moment, lost in thought as she chewed on her lower lip. She nodded to herself, clearly coming to some kind of decision, and looked up at him.

"I've just realized Jeff, that one isn't enough. I'm going to need another month."

"Annie, please don't do this," he begged. "I miss you and I'm worried about you."

"You still don't get it, Jeff. This isn't just about you. It's not a punishment."

"Why are you acting like this, Annie? This isn't you, at all."

"Yes it is, Jeff. It has to be, until I can get over my feelings for you and put my 'overactive imagination' behind me, I need to be away from you. Keeping this busy helps with that. But you have to stay away from me, too."

Jeff held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, saying "Okay, Annie. You want another month, you've got it." He squeezed her hand resting on the roof of her car, turned and walked to his car, and said "Just promise you'll call me if you need anything."

She didn't respond, and after a minute he got into his car and drove away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

For the first time in his life, Jeff wanted summer vacation to be over quickly. He was tired. Tired of Alan's stories, tired of spending too many nights alone in bars drinking Scotch, even tired of tanning himself on his days off. Most of all, he was tired of not being around his best friend. But the end of the second month of summer vacation was rapidly approaching, and Jeff decided to celebrate by getting a massage.

He had gotten into the habit out of necessity, as he regularly had built up quite a bit of tension by each Friday. _There were other root causes as well_ , he thought as he stripped and put on his robe. _One in particular_ , _but I'll be able to see her soon. Just a few more days and I'll be able to talk to her, maybe even tell her the truth. It would be sooner than I planned, but I have to be honest with her. I owe her that much, even if it may not be a pleasant experience for either of us._

He had stayed away from her, just as she had asked. In fact he had finally resorted to talking to the dean to try to get information about how she was doing, and that had not been a pleasant experience. He shuddered involuntarily, remembering how Pelton had reacted when Jeff had approached him in the hallway of their apartment building.

 _"Dean, I need to ask you a favor."_

 _Jeff swore he heard the dean excitedly whisper to himself something that sounded like "It's finally happening. The witch doctor was right," before he responded in a normal (for the dean) voice "Why Jeffrey, what a coinci-dean seeing you here!"_

 _"Yes, what a shock it must be seeing me walking in the hallway that leads to the front door of my apartment."_

 _"Calm dean, Jeffrey. I'm happy to help. I'll do anything for you."_

 _"It's jus-" "Anything, Jeffrey," the dean said in a sultry voice._

 _"Yeah, look, I was just wondering if you could keep an eye on Annie. I think she may be trying to take on too much this summer."_

 _"I know. Isn't she fantastic. She's worked really hard for me this summer. She's made a lot of progress bringing our student records up to date."_

 _"That's great, dean. So about keeping an eye on her..."_

 _"Of course I will, Jeffrey. Any-dean for you."_

 _"One more thing, Annie can't even suspect I asked you this, so don't get caught."_

And he hadn't been caught. But Jeff hadn't really learned anything useful from the dean, either. So that was a waste of time.

He left his phone in the pocket of the robe as he hoisted himself up onto the table, getting comfortable and laying the towel over his lower half. As the masseuse began her ministrations, Jeff felt himself relax. Five minutes later, he felt much better. Fifteen minutes after that, he was so relaxed he almost didn't notice his phone buzzing in vibrate mode on the bench next to the door.

"Can you see who's calling me, please?" he asked without lifting his head from the hole in the table.

She wiped her hands on a towel as she walked over to pick up the phone. "It says 'Unknown Caller'" she said, holding the phone out in his direction. He took it, put it on silent mode, and handed it back to her.

"Probably a telemarketer. Don't worry about it." he replied. She put the phone back and resumed his massage.

An hour later, as he was walking to his Lexus, he noticed that there were three voicemails waiting for him. _That is one determined telemarketer_ , he thought. _Still, I should probably listen to them just in case.._

He got in and started his car, then turned his attention back to his phone, selecting the first message.

Jeff put the phone to his ear in time to hear "Mr. Winger, this is Dr. Perkins at Greendale General Hospital. I'm calling you about a Miss Annie Edison, and you are the first number on her speed dial. She was brought in unconscious this aftern-" Jeff didn't hear the rest of it because he dropped the phone onto the passenger seat and sped out of the parking lot.

Ten of the longest minutes of his life later, Jeff pulled into a parking space at the hospital, sprinting for the reception desk. He identified himself to the nurse at the desk and asked to see Dr. Perkins. She directed him to the waiting area, but he refused to move until she paged the doctor. He tried to sit and wait, but his hands were shaking so he got up and paced instead.

"Mr. Winger?" Jeff turned and said "I'm Mr. Winger. Is she okay?"

"Come with me," Perkins said.

"Is Annie okay?" Jeff asked again.

"She's through the worst of it, but she's not out of the woods yet."

"What happened?" Jeff demanded. The doctor motioned Jeff into his office and closed the door, motioning him into a chair across from his desk while Perkins sat behind his desk. "Based on the tests we ran, we are sure that Miss Edison overdosed on Adderall. Have you seen her recently?"

"Just once a month ago." Perkins nodded and made a note.

"Did she exhibit any of the following symptoms: Talking more than usual, tremors or twitches, unusual behavior, sleep problems or weight loss? There are others, but these are the most common."

Jeff paled, as he thought back to everything he had heard or seen about Annie's summer _. It was all right in front of me, and I didn't see it. Not true. I did see it, I was just too worried about myself to notice._

"Yes. All of the above," Jeff answered, running his hands through his hair as Doctor Perkins made another note. "Give me specifics, doctor. How bad is it?"

"She was found unconscious in her apartment. She had vomited, but we pumped her stomach to be sure we could get as much out as we could. Her heartbeat was uneven and her blood pressure was high, but she has responded well to medication for those symptoms so far. She is still unconscious, and I expect that to be the case for the next several hours. Test results show a high level of Adderall, but not high enough to be considered a suicide attempt," Jeff shuddered as the doctor continued "so I believe it is a case of an accidental overdose. It happens more than you'd believe. The person becomes addicted, and they build up a tolerance that requires them to take more to have the same effect. If they are not careful, they overdo it. All things considered, she was very lucky. If the landlord hadn't been walking by when she fell…" he trailed off, before ending with "However, I expect her to fully recover from this incident. Then the hard part starts."

He looked up at Jeff. "I have another question for you, Mr. Winger. I called you first, but doesn't she have any family members we can contact?"

"No!" Jeff responded emphatically. "She was addicted to Adderall in high school. Her parents wanted to sweep it under the rug, but she put herself in rehab, and they cut her off. She hasn't had any contact with them since, and she wants it that way."

"All right, but she'll need support. I presume you know who to contact and who not to?" At Jeff's nod, Perkins resumed "Very well. I'll let you handle that because it's clear you want what's best for her. So do I. Her effects, including her keys, are at the nurse's station. When she wakes up, it would help keep her calm if there were a few personal items of hers in the room with her. We've found that this can help jump start the recovery process, which will definitely require NA meetings even if we determine she doesn't need to go to a rehab clinic."

They sat in silence for a moment, then the doctor said "Come on. I'll take you to see her, then you can make any phone calls you need to and go to her apartment and get a few of her things."

They stood, and Perkins started to walk to the door when Jeff grabbed him and said hoarsely, "Thank you Doctor. For everything."

Perkins patted him on the arm and said, "Come on Mr. Winger. Let's go see your…"

"Best friend," Jeff answered.

Once Perkins ushered him into the room, he left Jeff there, standing next to Annie's bed watching her breath and listening to the machines. He leaned down and kissed her forehead before stepping out of the room to call the study group.

Shirley immediately volunteered to come to the hospital, but Jeff told her what the doctor had said and finally persuaded her to come in the morning when Annie was awake.

Britta said she would get on a plane in the morning and would be there by the afternoon.

Troy and Abed had a long flight ahead but swore to start home immediately.

Jeff stopped at the nurse's station to ask about Annie's hospital bills and was told they were being taken care of. "By who?" he asked.

"Pierce Hawthorne."

"How did he find out she was here? I was the first one you called."

"He's on the Hospital Board, and when Dr. Perkins saw his name in her phone, he called him. Mr. Hawthorne immediately asked that all the bills be directed to him and to no one else."

"Thank you," Jeff said before turning and heading to the exit. _How about that._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Jeff made the drive to Annie's apartment in silence. When he parked his car, he had to sit and gather himself for a few minutes in order to find the strength to walk to the building. The key turned in the lock, and he pushed the door gently and stepped inside. The stench of vomit still hung in the air, assaulting his nostrils. Once he got more used to it, he looked around, taking in her apartment for the first time.

It was a small studio apartment, with a small kitchenette area, a bedroom area, and a "living space," all of them overlapping but with subtle borders created with the décor. _She really worked to make this place a home_ , he thought.

He started to look around for things he thought she might like to see when she woke up. He walked around, trying to take everything in before picking a framed photo off her nightstand. It was of the whole study group, gathered around the study table. _She clearly loves this. What next?_ He glanced around and saw her pile of stuffed animals. He smiled and picked up a kangaroo with a frog in it's pouch. He checked the time. _I need to get back soon, I have to be there when she wakes up._ He quickly scanned the room again, seeing a quilt strewn haphazardly across her worn out sofa. _This looks like the one Troy told me about. Her grandmother's quilt. Perfect._

He shook it out, folded it, and prepared to leave when he saw the edge of a book sticking out from underneath the couch. He reached down and picked it up, turning it over. It had a one-word title.

 **Diary**

Jeff paused, thinking. _I know ordinarily it would be wrong to read this, but these aren't normal circumstances. Besides_ , he reasoned, _if there's a reason in here for why she slipped, that can only help._

His mind made up, Jeff put the other items beside him and opened it up carefully. He quickly scanned through it, only stopping when he came upon the entry for November 12th, 2009:

 _I think Jeff and I had a moment today. I let my hair down and he really seemed to like how it looked. Then, just a few minutes later, I caught him staring at me when I tried to show him a quote we could use for our debate tomorrow. Honestly, we were both pretty flustered after that, so we decided to prepare individually._

He turned to the next page, curiosity overwhelming him.

 _November 13_ _th_ _, 2009_

 _I kissed Jeff today, and he kissed me back! It was to win the debate, but it still counts, right? I mean, I know he's not in love with me or anything, he even patted me on the head after the debate instead of at least hugging me. But, I can dream, can't I? XOXO_

Jeff started scanning pages faster now, jumping forward in time.

 _May 20_ _th_ _, 2010_

 _I decided not to go with Vaughn. It just didn't feel like the right thing for me at the time. I was living in the moment, and still was when I ran into Jeff outside the Transfer Dance. He was panicking a little. Britta and Professor Slater had both evidently just told him that they love him. We talked for a minute, then I kissed him. He seemed stunned for a second, but then he kissed me back! It may have qualified as French kissing. I know I have a magazine that has a make-out meter in it, I'll have to find it and see. Jeff texted me later, saying he needs to see me tomorrow! I'm so excited! I know he's a lot older than me but he kissed me back, so he has to feel something for me. Good night for now, XOXO_

He turned to the next page.

 _May 21_ _st_ _, 2010_

 _So I met with Jeff today. He told me that we need to keep our kisses a secret because he was worried about what people would think if they found out. I promised, but I don't see what the big deal is. We're both adults, so who cares? I'll just have to work at it this summer whenever I see him. XOXO_

Jeff grimaced as he remembered how hard he had worked at avoiding her that whole summer. _I had no choice_ , he thought. _If Shirley or especially Britta had found out that soon…_

He flipped through the pages until he found the next entry he was dreading to see, feeling guilty as he realized the spots he saw on the page had to be where teardrops had fallen onto it.

 _September 23_ _rd_ _, 2010_

 _This was the worst day of my life since rehab! I thought Jeff and I could talk today and I could make him realize that we could try to be together, but the whole day was a horrible nightmare. First, Jeff made sure to remind me that not only could we not be a couple, but later told Shirley in front of everyone that I'm just "young flesh" as far as he's concerned. I also found out that just a few days before we kissed at the dance, he had sex with Britta during the paintball game! On our study group's table! I do feel bad now that I punched him in the face, but I still say he deserved it. It's like he spent all summer figuring out the best ways to hurt me. I don't understand why he would treat me this way. Even if he's not interested in me, we're still friends, right? I'm going to bed. Maybe things will be better tomorrow._

Jeff felt his eyes start to water as he read the entry _. I did that to her, All of it. If anything, I got off easy. Not because I deserved it, but because that's the kind of person Annie is._ After wiping his eyes, he steeled himself and flipped ahead some more.

 _October 7_ _th_ _, 2010_

 _Jeff told me today that he "couldn't believe he made out with me." No explanation, Nothing. Why am I so repulsive to him? I don't know why he is acting like this all of a sudden. It hurts that I can't move on as easily as he can. I've decided to focus on my extracurricular activities. I signed up for the Environmental Club and I'll start work on my diorama tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be too busy with it to dwell on Jeff._

The entries continued to pile up.

 _November 18_ _th_ _, 2010_

 _Jeff had the nerve to lecture me today. "People aren't playthings, Annie." Seriously? He wouldn't recognize irony if it hit him in his giant forehead! All he does is treat people that way. He can't decide if he wants to be more than friends, so he keeps dancing back and forth. It's so frustrating. This is actually an example. After he said that, we were in Troy and Abed's blanket fort when it collapsed, and while we were under the blanket, he kissed me. It felt so good, but maybe it was too good to be true._

 _January 20_ _th_ _, 2011_

 _Well, I set a new personal record tonight. Rejected by two guys in a one hour period. First, Jeff refused to admit that he had feelings for me again! He also claimed that he didn't actively try to run other guys off, which I know he's done! He double-talked his way around any honest answers, the way he ALWAYS does. Then, when I asked Rich out…_ (Jeff quit reading the entry).

 _April 21_ _st_ _, 2011_

 _I found out today that not only am I delusional (according to Jeff), but he's been having sex with Britta all year! Abed used his computer of a brain and realized Jeff and Britta had been sneaking around behind our backs, and when I pointed out the moments Jeff and I had shared, he blew me off, saying I was "reading into some things." He then went one step further and told me that our connection was about as strong as Pierce and Abed's. I am so angry and sad right now, I can't think straight. I need to concentrate, I have three finals this week. Well, two really. Anthropology doesn't count. I need something to help me focus for the next few days._

Jeff reread the last entry several times _. Is that why it started? All because I couldn't let her down gently._ It all finally became too much for him, and he sat on the couch and sobbed brokenly, he didn't know for how long. His tears weren't for himself, they were for her. Finally, he calmed himself, wiped his face, and stood up. He put the diary back where he'd found it, picking up the items he came for as he walked out the door, locking it securely behind him.

"Any changes, Doctor?"

"No. But that's actually good news. It means her body is accepting the medications we gave her," Perkins replied.

"How long before she'll wake up?"

"Probably in the next two to three hours. I'm heading home now, but I've left instructions for the nurses to call me when she wakes up."

With that said, Perkins walked towards the elevators. Jeff turned and went into Annie's room. Everything looked the same as it had when he left earlier. He busied himself, spreading the quilt across the bed, tucking the stuffed animals under her hand where it curled next to her pillow, and finally putting the framed picture of the study group on her side table. His tasks completed, he picked up a chair and set it down as close to her as he could get, and settled in to wait. He reached over and enclosed her hand with his, gently rubbing his thumb over hers. Jeff suddenly felt exhausted, the last several hours finally catching up with him. He closed his eyes and his mind began to drift. _Tomorrow is a new start_ , he reminded himself. His last conscious thought was a hope that he would make the most of it.


	5. Chapter 5

All spelling errors in the text messages are Britta's.

 **Chapter Five**

Jeff could normally sleep through anything, especially when he was exhausted, like now. However, he woke up quickly, holding up his phone in the dark to check the time, seeing it was just after five in the morning. _Four hours' sleep_ , he thought groggily, _I should be out like a light_. He slowly scanned the room, finally turning and looking at the bed next to his chair. Starting at his hand, where Annie's warm, soft hand covered his own, he slowly trailed his eyes up - _Wait. My hand was covering hers when I went to sleep, right?_ \- and found himself staring into a pair of achingly beautiful blue doe eyes he'd recognize anywhere.

Annie stared back at him, clearly with a question in her eyes. Jeff allowed himself to drown in them for a minute that seemed to last forever while at the same time ending way too quickly before breaking off to close his eyes and rub his free hand over his face and hair in relief.

Releasing her hand, he stood. "I'm going to get a nurse. I'll be right back, okay?" He waited until she acknowledged him with a tiny nod, then walked briskly to the nurse's station down the hall. He returned with a nurse in tow, and leaned silently in the doorway while the nurse checked Annie's vitals and made some notations on her chart. The nurse departed as quickly as she had appeared, leaving them alone once more.

"How do you feel?" he asked as he took his seat next to her. Annie opened her mouth to respond, but no sound came out. She paused, her hand going to her throat before miming that she wanted a drink. Jeff smiled, his eyes crinkling as he poured her a glass from a pitcher of ice water on the side table. He put a straw in it and handed it to her, and after a few sips Annie cleared her throat and was able to rasp "Worn out. Sick to my stomach. Humiliated. All of the above, actually." She paused and lowered her eyes before quietly asking in a quavering voice "I really screwed up, didn't I?"

"We both did, Annie." When she looked up at him, tears staining her cheeks, he continued "Your mistake was in not trusting me or your other friends to help you when you needed it. Mine was not being a good friend and ignoring you for two months."

"Jeff, you stayed away from me because I told you to."

"You told me to because I was being a terrible friend. I led the charge to get Pierce out of the study group and didn't consider your feelings about it - _All right, Winger. Here we go_ \- or pretty much anything else between us." He stopped himself, turning his head sideways to look at her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that there have been a lot of times when you tried to talk to me about us, and I shut you down every time, and you deserve mo-"

The rest of his sentence is drowned out by the arrival of Shirley and Britta, who immediately surround Annie on both sides of the bed. Shirley wraps Annie up in a hug, tears streaming down her cheeks as Britta awkwardly tries to join in by leaning across the bed. When they finally broke away from each other, all three women were crying silently.

"Ann-ie, we've been so worried about you, sweetie! Haven't we, Britta?"

"Yeah, Annie. You really scared us," Britta replied. "Why didn't you tell us you were hooked again?"

Annie glanced at Jeff before turning to Britta, "Because I didn't want to bother anyone. I wanted to prove I could be an adult and handle work and school instead of the child everyone thinks I am, and I ended up proving you guys right all along!" she managed to get out before she broke down, sobbing. Shirley and Britta quickly hugged Annie again as Jeff stood at the foot of the bed.

Shirley sat up and looked kindly at Jeff. "Jeff, you can go home and get some sleep. I'll be here for awhile."

"Yeah, Jeff. You look like crap. Especially your hair," Britta said. "Thanks for that," Jeff sarcastically replied.

"Don't mention it. Besides, that'll give me time to tell Annie about my summer protesting adventures."

"I thought Annie was your friend," Jeff smirked before adding "On second thought, the nurse did say Annie should get as much sleep as she can, so go for it." He looked at Annie, who was still wiping her cheeks when she laughed at their back-and-forth. She met his eyes, blushing slightly before saying "Hurry back."

He smiled and headed for the door, walking to the elevator. When the doors opened, he got in, hitting the Lobby button. When the doors closed, he groaned out loud, banging the back of his head against the wall. _You blew it, Jeff. Very smooth. You managed to leave her hanging AGAIN._ He couldn't help feeling a little resentful towards Shirley and Britta for showing up when they did. _They have terrible timing. Why couldn't they have shown up just a few minutes later? Of course, I didn't help matters by scurrying out of there with my tail between my legs._ He stood up from where he'd been leaning against the wall when the doors opened onto the lobby, starting for the parking lot. As he neared the reception desk, he noticed a familiar figure turning to head towards the waiting area.

"Pierce?"

Pierce stopped and turned to face him. "Hello, Jeffrey."

"Aren't you going up to see Annie?"

"I was going to wait until she's alone. I'd hate to cramp anyone's style more than I already have the past two years."

"Listen, Pierce-"

"No, you listen, Jeff. I don't want your pity. I'm here for Annie. Not you or anyone else in the study group."

"Pierce we're _all_ here for Annie. Well, not Troy and Abed. They're somewhere between LA and Denver, probably trying to make an indie hijack movie on their plane…You know what - not the point. The point is, Annie's not just your favorite, she's everybody's. Doesn't that give us some common ground? The fact that you're paying all of her medical bills tells me that you do genuinely care, and that's enough for me."

Pierce muttered under his breath before reluctantly nodding his head. He walked into the elevator and hit the button for Annie's floor, looking at Jeff just as the door was closing. "That was gayer than most of your Winger speeches, Jeff. Did you finally come out of the closet this summer?"

Jeff didn't have time to respond before the doors closed. He shook his head and resumed his trek to the parking lot, realizing that he couldn't expect a complete one-eighty from Pierce overnight. _Baby steps, Jeff. No matter how annoying he is, he's a part of Annie's support system, and she needs all of us right now._

Twenty minutes later, he unlocked the door to his apartment and walked in, heading directly to the bedroom. He pulled a shirt from his closet, adding it to the jeans, socks, briefs, and belt already laid out on his bed. He pulled off his clothes and turned the shower onto it's hottest setting, letting it beat down on his head, neck and shoulders as he stood under it. When he finally turned it off and stepped out to dry off, he saw that he had a few texts from Britta:

 _6:04 am_

 _Pierce just left. That was wierd. He asked for a few minutes w Annie, and when he left he looked like he'd been crying. Annie's eyes were red too when we came back in. She wouldn't say why though._

 _6:37 am_

 _Hey Douche. Annies asleep and probly will b for awhile so go ahead and get some sleep cuz Shirley is staying with her. Im going to Denver to wait for Troy and Abed._

He looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand. _6:48. I need some sleep so I'm making sense when I talk to Annie. Huh. When, not if. That's new._ Jeff smiled at the thought as he thoroughly brushed and flossed his teeth, finishing with some mouthwash before grabbing his phone and texting Shirley:

 _How's she doing?_

 _Better. The poor dear is exhausted. The doctor was here and gave her a sleeping pill. He told me she'll be asleep for at least 12 hours, so you go ahead and get some sleep too. Just make sure you're back by five, I have to pick up Ben from Andre's parents before six._

 _OK. I'll be back at five._

 _That's fine, Jeffrey. Sweet dreams._

He hooked his phone up to it's charger when his stomach growled and he realized he hadn't eaten since his lunch break the day before. He went to the kitchen and made himself a quick meal of scrambled eggs and toast, eating it standing at the kitchen counter.

Jeff set his alarm for 3 pm before turning off the light and tumbling into bed in boxers and a t-shirt, falling asleep again almost immediately. He barely stirred before his alarm went off eight hours later. He stood up and looked in the mirror. _Time to man up, Winger._


End file.
